A Toxic weekend

“Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes”

This is my current shout out in my friendster account. There are lots of reasons behind this phrase.I have made lots of mistakes in my life, and i always think of it as an experience, good or bad, still an experience where lessons should have been learned.

But the qestioin is have I really learned from this experiences?Am I still commiting the same mistakes?I thought my 3 days off from work would be a fun and relaxing moment, but its not.It has been a toxic, stressful weekend for me. ISSUES would always be there. I don’t know why?or should I say I know some of the reasons but not everything.

I have been always on the phone, talking with my close friends, sharing stories, heartaches and pains. I have been talking to my ex- why?I simply miss her. Last night, I asked my tita jac and peach’s friend, and our new housemate sa bahay ni TIta, mico if they would like to join me for some tequila shots.Ibought some crisps across the street, its already around 11 pm. I opened our Jose cuervo, pour a few splashes in my glass, added some red bull and sprite, and kalas, i have made my simple concoction that would help ease the pain that I have, even for a few hours.Its just a simple chat about life here in dubai, as both new here in dubai, we had some sort of q & a portion. About job opportunities, investments, hiring procedures etc. Some moments from our past, stories of the present and plans for the future. It was a nice casual conversation.The bottle is now half empty, and I decided to jump into my bed and rest. I switched on my laptop, checked my friendster, email and ym as I always do, nothing interesting though. So I just inserted a dvd movie and watched till I feel sleepy, but while watching the movie I received an sms from a friend, asking me questions which I don’t know the answer. situations that are not clear for the both of us. Scenes that should not be happening. We’re both clueless, but Im bothered. i wasnt able to sleep properly, thinking of one of our friends that was drunk, really wasted and troubled. Im just concerned about what’s happening coz I know in one way or another, I am part of it. Until now I haven’t receive any sms from my friends. Im thinking about all my credit card bills. Again, im bankrupt for this month.

I am thinking about my friends, my love life, my work, my finances. All at the same time,in a weekend that should be relaxing and calm.Im burned out. im stressed. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know where to start.

~ by drew25 on May 26, 2008.